Swedish film about German brothel: Why do men buy sex?

Many people would like to see sex-industry businesses normalised as a way to improve the situation for workers. This rights movement is opposed by another that wants to rid the world of prostitution by criminalising the purchase of sex. Sweden and Norway currently have such a law; Finland and the UK have a diluted version and other countries are debating it (Denmark, Israel).  The theory of such laws is an over-simplified idea of supply and demand: If there were no men willing to pay for sexual services, there would be no market and commercial sex would go away. The idea that prohibiting an activity can make it disappear ignores the complexity of culture and social life and is not supported by what we know about laws that have attempted to prohibit alcohol and drugs, on the one hand (in more than one western country) and laws that criminalise specific sexual activities like sodomy or oral sex). Some people may well feel discouraged or afraid enough of being caught that they stop participating, but a lot of other people continue despite laws. Nevertheless, those who believe that Gender Equality can be legislated  – imposed by laws – are in favour of laws prohibiting the purchase of sex. 

Pascha is an 11-storey brothel in Köln, where prostitution is legal. The below interview in Swedish describes the experience of a Swedish filmmaker, a man, who spent time at Pascha making a documentary in order to understand why men buy sex. In the interview published in ECT, Svante Tidholm reveals both his assumption that buying sex is wrong and a certain comprehension of the male employees and punters. The title, Jag blev en av dem (I became one of them), refers to the ease (insidious, to Tidholm) with which people, including himself, can become accustomed to the normalising influence of the brothel. Normalisation can be seen as a way to improve sex workers’ lot people’s lot and, simultaneously as a way of continuing women’s oppression.

Jag blev en av dem

8 januari 2010, ECT

För dem som driver bordellen är det bara business, och de är inga onda människor. De gör sitt jobb. Precis som lägervakter. De är aktörer i ett samhälle som kollektivt tillåter att det här sker,’ säger filmaren Svante Tidholm som gjort en dokumetär om livet på Europas största bordell, Pascha

Svante Tidholm flyttade in på Europas största bordell, Pascha i Köln, för att försöka begripa: Hur tänker den som köper sex?

– Det handlar om ett manlighetens problem.

Första bilderna: Ett betongtak mot regntung himmel och Kölns alla kyrkor och katedraler, men senare i Svante Tidholms dokumentär är presenningen undandragen och män – putmagar och masker á la Eyes wide shut, fast billiga – porrligger med influgna kvinnor från Brasilien.

Pascha, bordellen som varken är stilettförsedda hallickar eller limousinlevererade eskorter, utan tysk prostitution som den är mest, euro mot en gnutta extas, 365 dagar om året, inte som på film.

Det var förresten här hiphop-stjärnan 50 cent hade sin konsert när han senast var i Tyskland.

– När jag berättar om Pascha är det många som nästan tror att jag hittar på. De kan inte föreställa sig, säger Tidholm.

Första gången han besökte bordellen var under fotbolls-VM, i samband med en av Sveriges matcher. Han hade läst om den och var nyfiken. När han frågade ledningen om han fick filma, var svaret oväntat positivt.

– Då hade jag egentligen ingen aning om vad jag ville göra.

”Handlar om rättvisa”
Men det blev en dokumentär, Som en Pascha, resultatet av totalt tolv besök, mellan två till sex dagar varje gång. Han är väl medveten om att debatten kring prostitution är minst sagt infekterad.

– Jag har inte siktat på att göra en partsinlaga, jag vill inte skriva med brinnande bokstäver. Men det går inte heller att ställa sig utanför debatten. Filmen handlar om rättvisa. Vilka friheter människor ska få ta sig över andras välbefinnande.

Tidholm förklarar att han hoppas öppna upp debatten genom att fokusera mindre på kvinnorna som säljer sex och mer på männen som köper.

– Varför är det så viktigt för dem? Vilka motiv har de? Kvinnorna skulle inte prostituera sig om efterfrågan saknades. Jag tror att det handlar om ett manlighetens problem, och det sträcker sig långt utanför bordeller som Pascha. Utanför länder som Tyskland.

Frågan om mäns sexualitet angår även Sverige, poängterar han.

– Vår självbild präglas av skenhelighet. Vi vill tro att vi är jämställda. Men då måste vi kunna diskutera varför kvinnor upplever otrygghet tillsammans med män i sin närhet, och hur det kommer sig att vissa män våldtar och köper sex.

Ovilliga sexköpare
De sexköpare och -säljare som intervjuas i filmen har samma uppfattning om manligt libido. Han är biologiskt tvingad att tillfredställa sitt begär. Han måste, helt enkelt.

– Som när någon använder liknelsen att det är som att gå till tandläkaren för att laga ett värkande hål… Klart att det inte stämmer, säger Tidholm.

En ung sexköpare beskriver hur han förvandlas tack vare Pascha: ”Man blir som en cowboy i Texas.” Bredbent självförtroende. Bordellen låter honom spela rollen av kung, alfahanne, tupparnas tupp.

– Det var extremt svårt att få män att medverka. Det kan mycket väl vara så att de jag filmat inte är representativa, utan att de hade exhibitionistiska skäl till att tacka ja.

Tidholms intryck är att de män som frekventerade Pascha snarare verkade vara sorgna.

– Jag tror att det har att göra med deras underliggande motiv. Att köpa sex är laddat för dem. Det handlar inte nödvändigtvis om skam. Men kanske om att de blottar sina känslor och vill skydda sig.

Prövade fördomar
– Det är bäst att inte tänka, säger Sonia, en av kvinnorna på Pascha.

Hon förmedlar den prostituerades perspektiv. Berättar att hon i hemlandet Rumänien blivit våldtagen sju gånger, och att det är bättre att hon mot betalning ger männen vad de vill ha än att de tilltvingar sig det av ”vanliga” kvinnor.

– Vi har fortfarande kontakt. Hon har idag flyttat till Spanien och försöker omskola sig till tandsköterska.

När han kom till bordellen förväntade han sig möten med socialt marginaliserade kvinnor som fastnat i det enda kvarvarande sättet att finansiera ett missbruk. Riktigt så var det inte. Men att de prostituerade på Pascha inte motsvarar den bild – han kallar det idag fördom – som han reste ned med, har inte fått honom att ändra sin grundläggande uppfattning om bordellverksamheten.

– Nej, för jag tycker ändå inte att männen har rätt att köpa sexuella tjänster. Sedan har jag inte träffat en enda kvinna som säljer sex för att hon tycker att det är kul.

Snabbt avtrubbad
Kameran lämnar sällan bordellen. Effekten är klaustrofobisk, för som tittare blir du instängd i ett parallellt universum, med sina egna värderingar, med en strikt professionell drift av pengar-sex-transaktioner.

– Kanske är det lite elakt mot Tyskland att dra sådana paralleller, men landet har ju historiskt sett industrialiserat… jobbiga saker, kan man säga. För dem som driver bordellen är det bara business, och de är inga onda människor. De gör sitt jobb. Precis som lägervakter. De är aktörer i ett samhälle som kollektivt tillåter att det här sker.

Jag har tillbringat några timmar på Pascha, och kände efteråt att om jag hade växt upp i Köln kunde jag säkert…

– … hamnat där som sexköpare, ja. Jag kände likadant. Det normaliserades. Dagligen kommer det dit kompisgäng för att bli av med oskulden. Det infann sig en hopplöshet, jag kom att tänka på hur mycket har att göra med slumpen, var man råkar födas och växa upp.

Du filmade orgier och var omgiven av naken hud, blev du någonsin själv upphetsad under din tid på Pascha?

– Aldrig. Jag kunde inte ta med mig min kåthet hemifrån dit, det var inte samma sak

– Inte alls. Dessutom blev jag snabbt avtrubbad. När jag umgicks med Sonia hade hon sina jobbkläder. Först kändes det konstigt, sedan blev det normalt. Likadant när vi filmade sex. Men först var det en massiv chock.

Sluten gemenskap
Han säger att han blev en av dem, att han successivt välkomnades till den slutna gemenskap som sexköpare och prostituerade ingår.

– De har en överenskommelse eftersom såväl männen som kvinnorna inte kan berätta för utomstående. De hör ihop

translation: Svante Tidholm moved in on Europe’s largest brothel, Pascha in Cologne, to try to understand: How does the buying sex?
– It is a manhood problem.First pictures: A betongtak to rain heavy sky and Cologne all churches and cathedrals, but later in Svante Tidholm documentary is the sheet evasion and men – putmagar and masks, à la Eyes Wide Shut, was cheap – porn is having flown in women from Brazil.Pasha, the brothel and is not equipped stiletto pimps or limousine supplied escorts, but German prostitution as the most, the euro against an ounce of Ecstasy, 365 days a year, not as a movie.That was the way this hip-hop star 50 Cent had his concert when he was last in Germany.– When I talk about Pasha, many people almost think I can find on. They can not imagine, “said Tidholm.The first time he visited the brothel was during the World Cup, in connection with one of Sweden’s matches. He had read about it and was curious. When he asked management if he could shoot, the response was unexpectedly positive.– I had really no idea what I wanted to do.“Is the fair”
But it was a documentary, as a Pasha, the result of a total of twelve visits, between two to six days each time. He is well aware that the debate on prostitution is to say the least infected.– I have not aimed to make a party statement, I do not want to leave the burning letters. But it is also not possible to exclude themselves from the debate. The film is about justice. What freedoms people should have to cross the other’s welfare.Tidholm explains that he hopes to open up the debate by focusing less on women who sell sex and more of the men who buy.– Why is it so important to them? What motive do they have? The women would not prostitute themselves on demand was available. I think it is a manhood problem, and it extends far beyond the brothels as Pascha. Outside countries such as Germany.The issue of men’s sexuality concerns including Sweden, he points out.– Our self-image characterized by hypocrisy. We want to believe that we are equal. But then we could discuss why women feel insecure with men in their vicinity, and how it is that some men rape and buying sex.Unwilling pay for sex
They pay for sex and sellers who are interviewed in the film has the same view of the male libido. He is biologically compelled to satisfy his desires. He must, quite simply.– Like when someone uses the parable that it’s like going to the dentist to repair a painful hole … of course not true, “said Tidholm.A young pay for sex describes how he transformed thanks to Pasha: “You become like a cowboy in Texas.” Straddled confidence. Brothel let him play the role of king, alpha male, cock FREQUENCY rooster.– It was extremely difficult to get men to participate. It may well be that I filmed are not representative, but that they had exhibitionist reasons to accept.Tidholm impression is that the men who frequented Pasha rather seemed sorgna.– I think it has to do with their underlying motives. Buying sex is charged for them. It is not necessarily a shame. But maybe if they expose their emotions and want to protect themselves.Examined bias
– It’s best not to think, “says Sonia, one of the women at Pasha.She conveys the prostitutes’ point of view. Tells her in their home country Romania raped seven times, and that it is better that she return for payment gives men what they want than that of forcing it to “ordinary” women.– We still have contact. She has now moved to Spain and try to retrain for a dental assistant.When he came to the brothel he expected meetings with socially marginalized women jammed in the only remaining way to fund an addiction. Really, it was not. But the prostitutes on the Pasha does not match the picture – he calls it today Prejudice – he went down with, have not made him change his basic idea of the brothel business.– No, I still think that men do not have the right to purchase sexual services. Since I have not met a single woman who sell sex because she thinks it’s fun.Quickly numbed
The camera rarely leaves the brothel. The effect is claustrophobic, in which viewers are you trapped in a parallel universe, with its own values, with a strictly professional operation of the money-sex transactions.– Maybe it’s a bit nasty towards Germany to draw such parallels, but the country has of course historically industrialized economy … hard stuff, you could say. For those running the brothel, it is just business, and they are not evil people. They do their job. Just as camp guards. They are actors in a society that collectively allow this happen.I have spent several hours at Pasha, and afterwards felt that if I had grown up in Cologne, I could certainly …– … Got there that pay for sex, yes. I felt the same way. There were normalized. Every day there will be groups of friends to get rid of virginity. It turned up a hopelessness, I was reminded of how much has to do with chance, where you happen to be born and grow up.You filmed orgies and was surrounded by bare skin, did you ever self-excited during your time at Pascha?– Never. I could not bring my horniness home there, it was not the same thing– Not at all. In addition, I was quickly numb. When I socialized with Sonia, she had his work clothes. At first it felt weird, then it became normal. Similarly, when we filmed the sex. But first there was a massive shock.Hospital Community
He says he was one of them, he gradually welcomed into the closed community that pay for sex and prostitutes are included.– They have an agreement because both men that women can not tell outsiders. They belong together

9 thoughts on “Swedish film about German brothel: Why do men buy sex?

  1. Marc of Frankfurt

    Pascha Brothel is located in Cologne (Köln) and has other locations in other cities and countries as well (pascha dot de). Check out Pasha’s extensive public relation archive (mostly German yellow press). In Frankfurt there are 12 houses with 1.000 sex work places in the same style (Laufhaus). But remember that is only one branch of sex work. It is the factory style optimised supermarket form of 6biz. That means hard, intense work shifts, low service fees but quite good turnover for some women. And of course the owner and administrator make their share and therefore can provide some extra services to the workers not usual in other prostitution places.

    Note on the photo, taken during the world football tournament 2006, in the mega wall advert, all the flags of Islamic countries were blacked out in order to not cause extra trouble.

    Great to read the word >NORMALISATION< for the political debate which Hetaira, Madrid (colectivoHetaira dot org and FB) is using extensively as well. We should spread that word!

    That the prostitution taboo also affects the men and therefore society is quite a true observation and some hindrance for normalisation. But the problem is not sex for money per se. Nor promiscuous sex. But money. Think about it.

    Reply
  2. Iamcuriousblue

    “Sweden and Norway currently have such a law; Finland and the UK have a diluted version and other countries are debating it (Denmark, Israel).”

    This legislation was also being lobbied for in Hungary, which along with the Netherlands, currently has some of the most liberal laws around prostitution and pornography in Europe.

    Any idea whether the proposed legislation went anywhere, or did it meet with well-deserved lack of interest?

    Reply
  3. Laura Agustin

    Someone or other has proposed the swedish-type legislation in many countries, maybe even everywhere. I was making a distinction between those and countries where the idea has either reached the local parliament or is almost there. I’ll have to check but I believe it didn’t prosper so far in Hungary.

    Reply
  4. Cecilie Luder

    “Many people would like to see sex-industry businesses normalised as a way to improve the situation for workers. This rights movement is opposed by another that wants to rid the world of prostitution by criminalising the purchase of sex.”

    I think you’re oversimplifying with that dichotomy. There are those who want the sex industry ‘normalized’, but there is also opposition to that idea among those who aren’t against prostitution. Personally, I see the sex industry as a niche, a sanctuary if you will, away from ‘normal society’, where there’s room for those who have a hard time tolerating being regulated and constrained like in a normal job. I would hate to see the industry ‘normalized’. I wouldn’t know where to go then.

    But I realize that the ones who want the sex industry to be relatively unregulated aren’t loud in the political debate (probably because any political debate implies this dichotomy between control and political correctness on the one hand and criminalization and harrasment on the other – not doing anything legally just isn’t a political option, is it?).

    Reply
  5. Pingback: Twitter Trackbacks for Prostitution | Swedish law | Demand | Brothel Pascha | Border Thinking on Migration, Trafficking and [nodo50.org] on Topsy.com

  6. ejaz14357

    But I realize that the ones who want the sex industry to be relatively unregulated aren’t loud in the political debate (probably because any political debate implies this dichotomy between control and political correctness on the one hand and criminalization and harrasment on the other – not doing anything legally just isn’t a political option, is it?).
    .

    Reply
  7. Pingback: Swedish brothel | Edollartrade

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